So I actually managed to get up at 7am today without hitting snooze. By 7:30 I was outside and ready to run/walk (per the
couch-5k program). I figured it was no big deal, I've run a mile no problem (like 5 months ago. whatever.). I didn't eat breakfast first because I think I remember hearing something about how if you eat breakfast first you're probably going to vomit or die or something.
My first observation was that this is probably going to be more of a challenge for my lazy-sack-o-crap dog. I dragged her for the 5 minute power walk, and when I started running? Fugettaboutit! She looked at me like I was trying to kill her and walked decidedly just slow enough so that it was like I was dragging a ball and chain. She is now passed out on the arm chair. I think she might be dead. (Actually, I just checked and apparently she is just a lazy ass. I asked if she wanted a treat and all of a sudden the torture of exercise that I had put her through was magically forgotten!)
So I got through the walk/run easily enough. I think I did better than a lot of other people I have read about doing their first time, though I did kind of want to punch things near the end. As this is Duluth, I live in the hillside area, and you cannot avoid the hills, I decided to take advantage of my possition and practice running up and down hills. That was an ok idea, but I think I would have had a much easier time had I not done that. Infact, I have failed to mention that that mile I ran was on an indoor track. No hills. Not even a bump.
I got home alive and dog had perked up a bit by that time. I went inside, took a cool shower (I just dyed some of my hair purple, so I'm being very careful to keep that color on there!) and I shaved. Then as I got out of the shower a feeling came over me. "I will almost certainly die now," I said to myself. I felt like I was going to vomit all over the world. I sat on the floor next to the toilet and made some weird faces, but I did not throw up. I just sat. And I felt bad for myself. And I considered telling my siblings that I couldn't run because it might make my shunt malfunction (Shunt= a tube that drains spinal fluid from my brain to my tummy cause I have a benign tumor that blocks said fluid from draining on its own. It is kind of vitally important). I didn't know what I had done wrong or what was happening, and then I realized I had still not eaten breakfast. I clawed my way up the wall to a standing position and got a glass of water. Then I realized that I didn't want my hair to dry all wonky so I went to blowdry it in my half-dead state (priorities). When my hair was all dry and not at all styled like anything that looks like anything I made a smoothie, and of man am I ever enjoying the hell out of this smoothie right now.
Lesson learned today: Eat breakfast after I run, not when I feel like I might die.
Also: Make Dog suck less.
