The rest of week three went well and again I felt better about the run every day. My pace was still lacking what I hope for, which hadn't really bothered me until today.
Today was the first day of week 4 of training. For this week I started to track distance along with time and that added to my anxiety that since my pacing is so slow I probably have not been running the recommended distances. Even as I carefully mapped out points at which I should walk and run per week four distance recommendations in order to keep up with the plan, keeping track of these points got hard, and I got too caught up in whether I was running the right amount.
I know, I know, I know. This is all very silly and I shouldn't worry about it, but I really don't want to finish the c25k program and realize that I have only been running two miles the whole time. I am a perfectionist. It is very stressful and annoying, but when it is something like this, something where I have set a challenging goal for myself that I feel is very important to accomplish, I can't help be get wrapped up in doing everything right in order to reach that goal.
I should also add, it is also stressful that I have so much to do all the time and rarely can find time to run at all. This is a bigger problem since daylight is getting shorter and I don't exactly live in the safest place for a small woman to go running all on her onesies after dark or before light (who does these days?).
Someone please tell me that I don't need to worry about this crap. Give me ways to avoid doing so. Also, I am worried about training inside for the winter. I will be on a flat track then. Would my runner friends suggest that I try to push my distance more so that I can build up more stamina, keeping in mind that the half marathon will NOT be a flat track. Or should I perhaps cross-train, doing the normal distances on the track and then maybe throwing in some elliptical or something? I'm at a loss. And I want to kick ass. Help me kick more ass, please.
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Day Eleven: Reverse Psychology and Me: A Life Long Partnership
After a brief hiatus from running due to a sore hamstring (though I did continue with yoga), I am back in the saddle. I did not want to be back in the saddle, but my stubborn mind when told that I am not capable of something MADE me get back in the saddle.
Allow me to elaborate on the effects of reverse psychology in my life. I am not a quitter and I never really have been but there are very often times in which I would LIKE to quit and never run/go to school/read/act/work... you get it, ever again. I can remember countless times in my short life when I have been so close to quitting and someone, usually my wonderful mother, will come to me with a comment like, "maybe you just need to drop band so you can focus more on school" and boom, I'm acing band AND all other classes. Or, "it is ok if you need to let your grade in that class slip so you can improve your classes that are worth more credits..." Nope, I'm gonna get straight As and Bs at the end of the semester from 1 B and 3 Ds after that suggestion. Then there is, "Okay, maybe you are right and you did bite off more than you can chew this semester. Maybe you should step down president of that group," Nice try, watch me ace that test I was stressing about this week AND help my group pull of a successful and fun recruitment event.
My mom never tells me to quit things at school because she doesn't think I can do successfully complete them, she suggests it because I don't think i can succeed. Somehow throughout all of my years of schooling and related challenges, these comments are always precursors to me finding success in whatever I am trying to balance or whatever challenge I face. I don't know if she does this on purpose (she probably does), but that is just the way it always works.
Fast forward to today when, after a few days' break from running, I really really did not want to go out and run. It was already about noon when I had time and it is a hot day (about 85 degrees F) I whined and made excuses not to go for a run, which is when boyfriend laughed and said, "you're not actually going to do the half marathon."
I realized then that if 85 degree heat is making me not want to complete a 2 mile walk/run there is NOT A CHANCE I will be running 13.1 miles in probably comparable heat or worse with humidity come this June. "Oh screw that," I thought, "I have a reputation at stake. I am a TINY SHE-TITAN!" And I ran. I had better pacing that I have had on any of my other walk/runs yet and I feel great. I sweat like no one's business (or rather, like a normal person sweats after a run in 70 degree weather, because my body hates me and I don't sweat as much as I should) and I was covered in dirt from the dry paths, plus the dry air plus pollen plus heavy breathing have made me sneezy and nose-burny, but I don't care. I had a good run when I really did not want to run at all. I rock!
Allow me to elaborate on the effects of reverse psychology in my life. I am not a quitter and I never really have been but there are very often times in which I would LIKE to quit and never run/go to school/read/act/work... you get it, ever again. I can remember countless times in my short life when I have been so close to quitting and someone, usually my wonderful mother, will come to me with a comment like, "maybe you just need to drop band so you can focus more on school" and boom, I'm acing band AND all other classes. Or, "it is ok if you need to let your grade in that class slip so you can improve your classes that are worth more credits..." Nope, I'm gonna get straight As and Bs at the end of the semester from 1 B and 3 Ds after that suggestion. Then there is, "Okay, maybe you are right and you did bite off more than you can chew this semester. Maybe you should step down president of that group," Nice try, watch me ace that test I was stressing about this week AND help my group pull of a successful and fun recruitment event.
My mom never tells me to quit things at school because she doesn't think I can do successfully complete them, she suggests it because I don't think i can succeed. Somehow throughout all of my years of schooling and related challenges, these comments are always precursors to me finding success in whatever I am trying to balance or whatever challenge I face. I don't know if she does this on purpose (she probably does), but that is just the way it always works.
Fast forward to today when, after a few days' break from running, I really really did not want to go out and run. It was already about noon when I had time and it is a hot day (about 85 degrees F) I whined and made excuses not to go for a run, which is when boyfriend laughed and said, "you're not actually going to do the half marathon."
I realized then that if 85 degree heat is making me not want to complete a 2 mile walk/run there is NOT A CHANCE I will be running 13.1 miles in probably comparable heat or worse with humidity come this June. "Oh screw that," I thought, "I have a reputation at stake. I am a TINY SHE-TITAN!" And I ran. I had better pacing that I have had on any of my other walk/runs yet and I feel great. I sweat like no one's business (or rather, like a normal person sweats after a run in 70 degree weather, because my body hates me and I don't sweat as much as I should) and I was covered in dirt from the dry paths, plus the dry air plus pollen plus heavy breathing have made me sneezy and nose-burny, but I don't care. I had a good run when I really did not want to run at all. I rock!
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